Night Journal Entries

Journal Entry #1
14 December 2007
Page # 1-3
"I was twelve."
Eliezer is very young in the begginning of the book, he also seems quite interested in his religion and its doctrines. Eliezer seems fond of Mosche the Beadle and they are good friends which is odd because Mosche seems so much older than Eliezer but is still willing to teach him about the cabala. It's sad when Mosche is expelled from the town along with many other foreign Jews to experience the horrible events of the police. The people of Sighet are too optimistic about the fate of their lives and of the foreign Jews lives. If they weren't so optimistic maybe they could have been saved from the Nazis.
Journal Entry #2
15 December 2007
Page # 11-14
"The ghetto was to be completely wiped out. We were to leave street by street, starting the following day."
The Jews should have realized how strong the Nazis and the Hungarian police forces were before they had to be put into ghettos and then deported to who knows where like many before them. It's actually quite ignorant to think that in the middle of war that anybody will be spared because they won't, war is brutal. It will be interesting to see the changing opinions of God in the book because I believe that many of the Jews' minds will be altered because of the war.
Journal Entry #3
16 December 2007
Page #21
"After two days of traveling, we began to be tortured by thirst. Then the heat became unbearable."
It's sad how badly the Jewish people were treated during the war and that was only the start of it all. It's amazing to think that these horrible events only happened about sixty-five years ago. The elements that the Jewish people had to go through are sickening, like the cramped quarters, heat, cold, abuse, and starvation. It must seem like a bad dream to the main character of our book, like he states numerous times. It's a wonder how some of these survivors got out alive.
Journal Entry #4
17 December 2007
Page #32
"Never shall I forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, for all eternity, of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust. Never shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned to live as long as God Himself. Never."
The pain and suffering that the Jewish people is unbelievable, especially for the lives that were just beginning. The disappearing faith in God, for Eliezer, is slowly creeping into his mind because he cannot believe that God would put them through all of this if he truly existed. His reference to the night can be referred to the title of the book because it is that nocturnal silence that truly made him believe that his God, his soul, and his dreams died. His short time in being presented with the consequences of war changed him forever.
Journal Entry #5
18 December 2007
Page #42
"Some talked of God, of his mysterious ways, of the sins of the Jewish people, and of their future deliverance. But I had ceased to pray. How I sympathized with Job! I did nit deny God's existence, but I doubted His absolute justice."
It's amazing to think how a war and incarceration can change a person and their views of life and of God. Eliezer started out as a very religious boy who studied his religion's testaments all of the time. But now he is losing faith in God and his justice for his people. I wonder if his views will be the same at the end of the book, whether he will once again believe in God fully or if he will cut his life off from the religious customs?
Journal Entry #6
19 December 2007
Page #52
"What is more, any anger I felt at that moment was directed, not against the Kapo, but against my father. I was angry with him, for not knowing hot to avoid Idek's outbreak. That is what concentration camp life had made of me."
Eliezer's love for many things has died down and now his love for his father has succumbed slightly too. Eliezer has grown more accustomed to concentration camp life than his father has since he is older and is more weak. It must be hard for Eliezer to grow up in such devastating conditions, since he is in such a horrible place and because his father is not as strong and keen as Eleizer himself is. It's interesting to know that no anger was directed at the Kapo since he and the other Nazi men are the ones inflicting the pain upon the Jewish people.
Journal Entry #7
20 December 2007
Page #66
"I did not fast, mainly to please my father, who had forbidden me to do so. But further, there was no longer any reason why I should fast. I no longer accepted God's silence. As I swallowed my bowl of soup, I saw in the gesture an act of rebellion and protest against Him."
Eliezer has totally given up on God because he and the other Jews continue to suffer without redemption. Eliezer could not stand the fact that God never stopped their misery and He stayed quiet day after day. By eating the soup instead of fasting Eliezer is rebelling against God and his old traditions. I wonder if he will stay a nonbeliever, I think he will because he states earlier that he will never forget these events, that they will stay with him forever and if they stay with them how will he ever be able to forgive God?
Journal Entry #8
21 December 2007
Page #78
"I learned after the war the fate of those who had stayed behind in the hospital. They were quite simply liberated by the Russians two days after the evacuation."
It's quite disappointing that Eliezer and his father left the camp when just two days later the Jews were freed by the Russians. It must be hard for him to look back and think what a bad decision it was to be evacuated with the other men. Realizing what a mistake it was for him just adds to all his depression which I'm sure he felt for a long time. I could never imagine being in his position at such a young age and experiencing all that.
Journal Entry #9
22 December 2007
Page 90
"I shall never forget Juliek. How could I forget that concert, given to an audience of dying and dead men! To this day, whenever I hear Beethoven played my eyes close and out of the dark rises the sad, pale face of my Polsih friend, as he said farewell on his violin to an audience of dying men."
It's nice that Juliek played his violin during his last hours of living, I would do the same if I knew I was about to die. It's crazy what all those men had to go through just to live another day of torture and work that nearly kills them. Their tribulations must be especially hard when you have family members fighting for their knowing you couldn't give up because their own will to survive lies in you hands.
Journal Entry #10
23 December 2007
Page #109
"One day when I was able to get up, after gathering all my stength. I wanted to see myself in the mirror hanging on the opposite wall. I had not seen myself since the ghetto.
From the depths of the mirror, a corpse gazed back at me.
The look in his eyes, as they stared into mine, has never left me."
Eliezer sees himself as two different people after the Holocaust occurs. The young innocent boy who lived a peaceful life in Sighet and the boy who was forced to become a man in a short amount of time and to fight for his life by going through the horrors of the Holocaust. He'll never forget the look in the corpse's eyes because the losses of his whole family, his sickness, and his life are totally ruined by the war.

The Bell Jar Journal Entries

15 October 2007
Journal Entry #1
Page 3
"(I felt very still and very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo.)"
Esther is apparently very depressed even though she is living the dream life in New York. The readers have not yet found out why Esther is depressed, it might be from a man, her past, or her family. She hides her feelings well though because no one seems to notice that she feels so insignificant. Comparing herself to the eye of a tornado is interesting because it is still and probably looks unreal while the outside world is full of commotion and moving fast.

15 October 2007
Journal Entry #2
Page 7
"Buddy Willard went to Yale, but now I thought of it, what was wrong with him was that he was stupid. Oh, he'd managed to get good marks all right, and to have an affair with some awful waitress on the Cape by the name of Gladys, but he didn't have one speck of intuition."
Esther must be thinking back to one of her old boyfriends, or maybe even fiancee who cheated on her. She probably developed a small hatred towards men because of Buddy's actions. She does not say exactly but the likely reason why she says that he has no intuition is because he was carless about his affair and figured that Esther would never find out.

16 October 2007
Journal Entry #3
Page 16
"I felt myself shrinking to a small black dot against all those red and white rugs and that pine paneling. I felt like a hole in the ground."
Esther always explains how she feels in an apathetic and depressing way, she seems as though she is never happy, and never will be. She feels insignificant because she isn't as pretty as the other girls, especially Doreen. She wants to be good and successful but it is hard for her because she doesn't think like the other girls do, she is too advanced.

16 October 2007
Journal Entry #4
Page 22
"I made a decision about Doreen that night. I decided I would watch her and listen to what she said, but deep down I would have nothing at all to do with her. Deep down, I would be loyal to Betsy and her innocent friends. It was Betsy I resembled at heart."
I'm not quite sure if this is the first time that Esther is being a hypocrit but it most likely won't be the last. It was Esther's idea in the first place to go to the bar with Lenny so she is not like Betsy and her friends because she likes to take chances. Although she is being hypocritical because she is not innocent, she has many deep and scary thoughts that Betsy and her friends have probably never felt.

17 October 2007
Journal Entry #5
Page 26
"It was a joke because I never intended to get married..."
Esther has decided this at a somewhat young age, she's also at a prime age to start looking for a husband since men and women got married younger back in the day. Being a woman and not getting married was something that just didn't happen unless you were a school teacher, which I can't figure out why the wouldn't, maybe too much work. But Esther doesn't even know what she's going to do with the rest of her life and her being unmarried is so unheard during those times she would be looked upon questionably. But the underlying question is why doesn't she intend to get married?

17 October 2007
Journal Entry #6
Page 29
"After nineteen years of running after good marks and prizes and grants of one sort and another, I was letting up, slowing down, dropping clean out of the race."
Esther is giving up on herself and for aiming at being the best. She seems like she's had enough of trying and wants to see what it's like to just not care. Maybe it's easier, but either way if she drops out of the race as she describes it, then she'll probably never get back in.

18 October 2007
Journal Entry #7
Page 39
"My own mother wasn't much help. My mother had taught shorthand and typing to support us ever since my father died, and secretly she hated it and hated him for dying and leaving no money because he didn't trust life insurance salesmen."
This is only the readers second implications of Esther's mother. This is important since a girl's mother plays a very important role in her life. Apparently she disregards her mother because she never amounted to anything more than a shorthand teacher. Esther must not care much about her mother if she never mentions her. Maybe her mother is the cause of Esther's depression and drive to study a lot and to work all the time.

18 October 2007
Journal Entry #8
Page 48
"'Caviar nothing! It was the crabmeat. They did tests on it and it was chock-full of ptomaine.'"
Esther getting poisoned was a total surprise, I mean who would think a sophisticated and trusting, until that day, company like Ladies Day would poison a bunch of young ladies. It's also ironic because Esther thought she was the most polite and all knowing about eating the caviar and stuffed pears and the result was throwing it all up.

19 October 2007
Journal Entry #9
Page 55
"It seemed to me Buddy Willard and I were like that Jewish man and that nun, although of course we weren't Jewish or Catholic but Unitarian. We had met together under our own imaginary fig tree, and what we had seen wasn't a bird coming out of an egg but a baby coming out of a woman, and then something awful happened and we went our seperate ways."
Out of all the religious beliefs in the world both Buddy and Esther are Unitarian, which to me seems very odd because in the fifties it was harder to espress your beliefs that didn't fit into the standards of society. Whos baby, that's what I'm wondering, was it Esther's and then the baby died, maybe that's the something awful that happened. It would be understandable if they went their seperate ways after the baby died, maybe it was too much for two young kids to deal with the death. Maybe that's why Esther is so depressed.

19 October 2007
Journal Entry #10
Page 59
"If you expect nothing from somebody you are never dissapointed."
I totally agree with this quote but I'm not entirely sure if anybody in general can take a stand and say that they do this all the time. Expecting something from someone is just a natural thing, sure as humans we develop into independent individuals but that dependency shines through alot during our childhood and on and off during our adult hoods. Maybe people do expect too much from others, it's really ignorant though, I mean everyone's expected something from someone and gotten dissapointed but what do they do right after that? They continually expect more and more and just keep getting let down. You would think that people would learn from their mistakes.

20 October 2007
Journal Entry #11
Page 69
"Then he just stood there in front of me and I kept on staring at him. The only thing I could think of was turkey neck and turkey gizzards and I felt very depressed."
What is their deal, they're hella awkward. I mean how are you just going to pull down your pants and act all casual about it and then tell the other person to take their clothes off and then them say "some other time" ? That's just weird. Esther must have been really uncomfortable since she'd never seen a guy naked but they're both so calm about it I don't undestand. Why is she feeling depressed? I can't seem to figure that out.

20 October 2007
Journal Entry #12
Page 71
"What I couldn't stand was Buddy's pretending I was so sexy and he was so pure, when all the time he'd been having an affair with that tarty waitress and must have felt like laughing in my face."
Okay she is officially crazy in my book, she's freaking out over an event, or number of events, that happened that summer which I can understand how she would be upset about it but to full on end it with him seems unreasonable. I understand that she feels stupid, used, and let on but that's not the way he meant it and she can't seem to realize it. Plus, an affair is when you cheat on your significant other with another person and from what the readers know he wasn't with anyone, especially Esther. So she is blowing this way out of proportion. She needs to understand that men do things that women would regularly not do, even if they are very rich and sophisticated and going to medical school. She needs to realize that people make mistakes and that life goes on, live in the present not the past.
21 October 2007
Journal Entry #13
Page 76
"The trouble was, I hated the idea of serving men in any way."
Esther has continous problems with men. She foes not want to get married which is a highly rare and anti society decision. She now does not want to serve any man in general and wants to be independant which is questionable now because she doesn't know what to do with her life and atleast a husband would support her. Maybe because of her father's death she doesn't want to get married, the dramatic events of her mother going through so much onve her father died etched her brain into believing that she can live without and a man and that they are useless.
21 October 2007
Journal Entry #14
Page 80
"I knew I might have a baby, but that thought hung far and dim in the distance and didn't trouble me at all."
This is another conflict with a man than Esther encounters, she is deciding on whether to have sex with Constantin because of Buddy Willard. She is doing it to somehow get back at Buddy for having sex with another woman, even though Esther and him weren't dating at the time. She's ignorant and childish because she is trying to get back at Buddy by having sex and taking the chance of having a baby even though she is not in love with Constantin and has no intentions of dating him anymore. If she did not care about Buddy at all then she would never try adn have sex with other men to get even.
22 October 2007
Journal Entry #15
Page 93
"'And you," I continued with a sudden force, "laughed and said I had the perfect setup of a true neurotic and that that question came from some questionaire you'd had in psychology class that week?'"
Esther really doesn't like Buddy too much but still continues to see him and has a small love for him. Buddy is right though, Esther is a neurotic but doesn't realize it. If Buddy is commenting on how Esther is saying things like a neurotic then it's hinting to the readers she's just going to get worse. She doesn't really like to be criticized and has sudden but mild angry outbursts.
22 October 2007
Journal Entry #16
Page 97
"A small, answering point in my own body flew toward it. I felt my lungs inflate with the inrush of scenery-air,mountains,trees,people. I thought, "'This is what it is to be happy.'"
Esther seems happy to be doing something that gives her a rush and that seems to be the only way to do it. She is not happy otherwise and it must be because she is risking her life and she might die on the way down to Buddy. She is very stubborn because she won't give up on going down the mountain even though she might die, and all of this is to show up Buddy. Only excitement can make her happy.
23 October 2007
Journal Entry #17
Page 107
"I began to see why woman-haters could make such fools of women. Woman-haters were like gods: invulnerable and chockfull of power. They descended, and then they disappeared. You could never catch one."
Marcos is a woman-hater because he treats women badly yet leads them on. Atleast that's what I think Esther must think of woman-haters. Comparing them to gods is a good analogy because gods are in control of certain parts of the Earth but not all are nice and innocent. What was hella weird was that he grabbed Esther and left her a mark on her arm. What kind of man does that and what kind of woman takes that, especially from someone whom she just meant. I mean hello people shouldn't this be a warning sign?
23 October 2007
Journal Entry #18
Page 111
"Piece by piece, I fed my wardrobe to the night wond, and flutteringly, like a loved one's ashes, the gray scraps were ferried off, to settle here, there, exactly where I would never know, in the dark heart of New York."
Wow talk about crazy, Esther has reached a critical point in her neurotic life because no sane person would throw their clothes out the window, especially expensive ones. Maybe it's Esther's near rape experience with that Peruvian man Marcos. It's something like that that can scare a woman into doing insane things. Maybe the fact that she is going home with her mother plays a part in her anxiety and depression.
24 October 2007
Journal Entry #19
Page 117
"Children made me sick."
Esther just goes against everything that a woman is supposed act like,think, and even her goals are out of the ordinary. Children were a very important subject back in the day and whatever job you did it either involved a kid or you had some of your own. To not like them at all is odd because most women back in the 50's had many children and even if they didn't have many, they atleast had one or two.
24 October 2007
Journal Entry #20
Page 119
"I snatched up a pencil and crossed out Buddy's message. Then I turned the letter paper over and on the opposite side wrote that I was engaged to a simultaneuos interpreter and never wanted to see Buddy again as I did not want to give my children a hypocrite for a father."
She is lying to Buddy because she is scared of telling him that she doesn't love him anymore and that he is not what she wants. She might also be hesitant from marrying Buddy because he is what society claims as perfect except for the TB and Esther doesn't want to intermix with the perfectness of society.
25 October 2007
Journal Entry #21
Page 127
"I hadn't washed my hair for three weeks, either.
I hadn't slept for seven nights."
Esther is really going downhill, the attempted rape by Marcos,the return to her hometown, and her letter from college that said she didn't make the course must have triggered an opening to a door deep in her mind that let her depression take over. She does not care about life anymore which is different from the Esther we were introduced to in the beginning. She is facing many obstacles in life and she seems to let them overpower her and does not try and overcome them.
25 October 2007
Journal Entry #22
Page 130
"But when I took up my pen, my hand made big, jerky letters like those of a child, and the lines sloped down the page from left to right almost diagonally, as if they were loops of string lying on the paper, and someone had come along and blown them askew."

Esther can't write because she is very depressed and she compares her writing to a childs because it is all over the place. Maybe the fact that she hasn't slept for about seven nights has something to do with her not being able to write. She must be very weak if she can't even write a letter.

26 October 2007

Journal Entry #23

Page 141

"Then I saw that some of the people were indeed moving, but with such small, birdlike gestures I had not at first discerned them."

Those people are crazy and Esther is not as crazy as them. Who would ever go through with a shock treatment after seeing all those crazy people moving so slowly and calm and acting like 1 year olds. It's unbelievable that that was even legal then and that people paid for that. Esther went through with it because she thought it would help her get better, but it didn't. She must have thought that the shock would bring her back to a happy mood.

26 October 2007

Journal Entry #24

Page 147

"I had locked myself in the bathroom, and run a tub full of warm water, and taken out a Gillette blade."

She is now considering suicide and wants to run away from all her problems. But she is too weak to kill herself, she can't do it no matter what way she attempts to kill herself. She's probably doing it to scare herself, because she has nothing else to do and because she's a manic depressive. Or atleast some kind of depressive. It's hard to think why she just didn't do it, nothing is going right in her life at the time and that seems like her only option. Maybe deep down inside she knows there's a way out.

27 October 2007

Journal Entry #25

Page 158

"That morning I had tried to hang myself."

Esther attempts to commit suicide alot and never seems to go through with it. She must be scared to kill herself. Maybe the fact that she had no permanent father figure in her childhood scarred her ability to trust men,which is one of the main reasons she's in this state.

27 October 2007

Journal Entry #26

Page 169

"The bottle slid from my fingers and I lay down."

Esther Has finally gone through with what she has been playing with for a long time; suicide. She wasn't fooling around Esther or else she would have put her body in a more apparent place so someone could find her once she past out. If she does survive then she will definately have some after effects and still have psychological problems.

28 October 2007

Journal Entry #27

Page 176

"I turned her my full face, with the bulging purple and green eye."I tried to kill mself.'"

Esther's looks must have changed dramatically since her face is in different shades of green and purples compared to her nice complextion before her suicide attempt. She is so blunt with telling people about how she tried to commit suicide. She seems so aware of sick she is, why doesn't she try and think twice about her sickness and try and fight it? Esther's probably doing it to partly get back at her mother.

28 October 2007

Journal Entry #28

Page 179

"'I've got to ger out of here," I told her meaningfuly."You get me out."

Esther sends her mother on a lot of guild trips and has a lot of hate built up against her. This might be because of her mother not caring about her husbands death and her choice to be a house wife. Her mother is also very gullible and expects Esther to snap out of her depression and Esther uses this trust as a technique.

29 October 2007

Journal Entry #29

Page 185

"I knew I should be grateful to Mrs. Guinea, only I couldn't feel a thing. If Mrs. Guinea had given me a ticket to Europe, or a round-the-world cruise, it wouldn't have made one scrap of difference to me, because wherever I sat on the deck of a ship or at a street cafe in Paris or Bangkok I would be sitting under the same glass bell jar, stewing in my own sour air."

This is the first reference towards the bell jar that Esther mentions. She feels like she is being suffocated and trapped in a glass display case that is sut off from the outside world. When she is trapped in the bell jar she cannot get out and can't feel anything about anyone. Her being trapped represents her sanity, when the bell jar is not trapping her she is okay, not sick.

29 October 2007

Journal Entry #30

Page 194

"'Joan?" I said tentatively, then "Joan!" In confusion and disbelief.

Joan beamed, revealing her large, gleaming, unmistakable teeth.

"It's really me. I thought you'd be surprised.'"

I bet Esther is questioning intensively about why Joan was at the asylum, she probably doesn't believe that Joan needs help. It's quite a coincedence that Joan had arrived at the asylum around the same time that Esther is. Atleast Esther has someone she vaguely knows to keep her company, they'll probably become friends.

30 October 2007

Journal Entry #31

Page 202

"I thought if they left me alone I might have some peace."

Esther has become quite secluded and must be self consience of her weight and other outer characteristics. This is quite a change from her skinny figure that she was proud of while she was still in New York. She must want peace particularily from her mother who is one part of her breakdown.

30 October 2007

Journal Entry #32

Page 203

"'I hate her," I said, and waited for the blow to fall.

But Doctor Nolan only smile at me as if something had pleased her very, very much, and said, "I suppose you do.'"

Esther has finally admitted the hate she has for her mother. Doctor Nolan must be happy aout this because it shows progress in Esther's recovery. Maybe Esther wants her mother to not bother her about Esther being sick. Esther must like the fact that her being sick burts her mother and must love the fact that she blames herself for everything.

31 October 2007

Journal Entry #33

Page 204

"After the nurse left, I tried to puzzle out this new move on Doctor Nolan's part. What was she trying to prove? I dan't changed. Nothing changed. And Belsize was the best house of all. From Belsize people went back to work and back to school and back to their homes."

Esther is improving but doesn't relize it because she is scares and can't anticipate her improvement. I think she's scared to go back to the real world, which put her in the hospital in the first place. When Esther talks about the people going back to the outside world she is realizing that she is getting closer and closer to her own release back to work, school, and home.

31 October 2007

Journal Entry #34

Page 211

"It wasn't the chock treatment that struck me, so much as the bare-faced treachery of Doctor Nolan. I liked Doctor Nolan, I loved her, I had given her my trust on a platter and told her everything, and she had promised, faithfully, to warn me ahead of time if ever I had to have another shock treatment."

Esther feels betrade by Doctor Nolan who failed in telling her ahead of time that Esther had to have shock treatment. Esther's previous shock treatments has scarred her emotionally and probably doesn't want to go through that especially since she has been lied to. Esther has put a lot of trust upon Doctor Nolan and not it seems as though the only person she trusts has betrayed her.

1 November 2007

Journal Entry #35

Page 215

"All the heat and fear had purged itself. I felt suprisingly at peace. The bell jar hung, suspended, a few feet above my head. I was open to the circultaing air."

It's crazy how one shock treatment could have released Esther from her captivity in the bell jar. I don't believe that Esther is fully cured though, she still has a long way to go because she still has all those emotions inside of her. The bell jar is suspended above Esther and most likely always be above her, one wrong situation and it could come back down on her.

1 November 2007

Journal Entry #36

Page 223

"'I was my own woman.

The next step was to find the prper sort of man."

Esther is still fighting her relationship with men. From the looks of it she's going to go out and find a random guy to do things with. I think she got birth control or something from the doctor because she seems quite suspicious about what's in the paper bag. Plus she says that she's her own woman which means she's free to do what she wants and her not having protection limits her freedom.

2 November 2007

Journal Entry #37

Page 226

"It was only after seeing Irwin's study that I decided to seduce him."

Here is an example of Esther's struggle with men and her virginity that she has kept for so long. Esther had wanted experience for her stories and she has found her oppurtunity to lose it and gain knowledge of the world. She is stupid though because why would she wnat to have a one night stand with a man who might have STD's or who could get her pregnant.

2 November 2007

Journal Entry #38

Page 235

"'I though you should know," Doctor Quinn said, "Joan has been found."

Doctor Quinn's use of the passive slowed my blood.

"Where?"

"In the woods, by the frozen ponds...."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

"One of the orderlies found her," Doctor Quinn convinced, "Just now coming to work...."

"She's not...."

"Dead" said Doctor Quinn. "I'm afraid she's hanged herself."

Esther must feel horrible about Joan commiting suicide. Esther have hurt Joan by telling her that she didn't like her to the point where she took her life. She must feel that it' all her fault and will probably extend her stay at the asylum. Esther must feel that apart of her has gone becasue she always said that Joan was like apart of her and that they were opposites but the same.

3 November 2007

Journal Entry #39

Page 237

"To the person in the bell jar, blank and stopped as a dead baby, the world itself is the bad dream.

A bad dream.

I remembered everything."

She compares herself to a dead baby because she is naive about the world which is apparently not a bad dream like Esther's mother considers it. Esther considers her breakdown reality and blames the world itself for everything that is happening to her. She remembers everything that has affected her life and it's not comparable to a bad dream because it's real.

3 November 2007

Journal Entry #40

Page 244

"The eyes and the faces all turned themselves toward me, and guiding myself by them, as by a magicial thread, I stepped into the room."

Esther still seems sick, considering she just lost Joan, who to Esther seemed like another part of her. Esther's plan all along was to get out of the hospital and out into the world, atleast in the beginning. She has definately recovered alot since her arrival at the hospitals but seems as though she'll always be sick.

Catcher in the Rye Journal Entry

21 September 2007
Journal Entry #1
Page 4

"What I was realling hanging around for, I was trying to feel some kind of good-by. I mean I've left schools and places I didn't even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't, you feel even worse." I relate to this quote because I've had that feeling before. The feeling where you need to just sit back and stare at the place and remember all the memories that had happened there and just let it all soak in. I feel corny while doing it, but afterwards I feel complete. I suppose part of the reason why J.D. Salinger put this quote in the book because many people think it but never say it outloud to anyone else. The author puts out odd and all over the place thoughts because firstly there probably aren't many authors who write similar to his. Secondly because that's just how his mind works, or better yet, how Holden's mind works.

21 September 2007

Journal Entry #2

Page 1

"Besides, I'm not going to tell you my whole goddamn autobiography or anything. I'll just tell you about this madman stuff that happened to me around last Chirstmas just before I got pretty run-down and had to come out here and take it easy."

This quote sounds totally like a teenager, the words that point that out are goddamn, anything, stuff, and take it easy. Just the way that the author put this quote together is so simple but if you look at it deeply you'll understand that Holden had to go away to a hospital on account of his depression and events that happened in his life. The author might have chosen to place Holden in a hospital because no one truly wants to talk about those kinds of things. Sometimes life gets a little out of control and we can't help it and Holden is the prime example of that.

22 September 2007

Journal Entry #3

Page 9

"People never notice anything."

Holden is so judgemental of the whole human race, it's amazing expecially since he's only been around 17 years and yet he acts like he's been around forever and has met everyone. He is sort of stereotypical too, since he implies that no one knows anything. It's debatable because as a teenager people tend to feel like no one really cares and no one listens to them. Although Holden is so set on the fact that everyone is a phony it seems like he will never let his guard down and truly see if anyone is not a phony.

23 September 2007

Journal Entry #4

Page 8

"Game, my ass. Some game. If you get on the side where all the hot-shots are, then it's a game, all right-I'll admit that. But if you get on the other side, where there aren't any hot-shots, then what's a game about it? Nothing. No game."

Hot-shots must be the successful old men that run important businesses or schools in general. Holden is saying that life is a game only if you are wealthy and know important people and have the way to success already paved for you, but if you are a normal person life isn't a game. So he must be saying that life has two sides to it.

24 September 2007

Journal Entry #5

Page 3

"I'm the most teriffic liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful."

I find this quote so funny, but I suppose it all depends on how you read it. The first thought that came to mind was is Holden a pathological liar or does he just know how to make up lies on the spot? That might be one of the reasons why he is in a hospital, he lies too much and it got him into trouble. What I don't get is how can someone just always lie about what they are doing or where they are going, I know it's a mental sickness but still, it's hard to imagine. If Holden is a teriffic liar then how does the audience know if all that he is telling us is a lie? I don't think the author is doing that though, it seems all too complicated. Maybe he means by saying he's a teriffic liar is that he can keep a straight face while telling the lie.

24 September 2007

Journal Entry #6

Page 21

"Then I started horsing around a little bit. Sometimes I horse around quite a lot, just to keep from getting bored."

Holden has such an imagination, he can act so young but act so mature at different times, it's a wonder how diverse he is. A lot of people get like that though, when they are tired, they start joking around or just get in a different mood. Why though, does Holden choose to be blind as a joke? It's not too much of a mystery for him to play a questionable character since he thinks so much all the time. Salinger must have Holden think so much all the time because he is trying to give us the sense that Holden is a complicated person and insights into future problems.

25 September 2007

Journal Entry #7

Page 31

"Jane Gallagher," I said. I couldn't get over it. "Jesus H. Christ."

Holden is really surprised by the fact that Stradlater is taking this girl out on a date. He knew her when he was younger, so they must both know a lot about each other. She will probably play an important role in the book since she most likely knows Holden's weaknesses and strengths. They must have liked each other or something, or else he wouldn't have gotten so excited and started telling Stradlater little details about her.

25 September 2007

Journal Entry #8

Page 29

"I got bored sitting on that washbowl after a while, so I backed up a few feet and started doing this tap dance, just for the hell of it. I was just amusing myself. I can't really tap-dance or anything, but it was a stone floor in the can, and it was good for tap-dancing."

I think that this whole part where Holden keeps going on about tap-dancing and how he's the Governor's son is so funny, yet you have to wonder, is he fooling or is he slightly crazy? The fact that he is bored and doing something to entertain yourself is completely understandable, but he goes so into detail and really gets into the story. Maybe underneath he truly wants to be someone else, in a different place instead of where everyone else wants him.

26 September 2007

Journal Entry #9

Page 38-39

"I was only thirteen, and they were going to have me psychoanalyzed and all, because I broke all the windows in the garage. I don't blame them. I really don't. I slept in the garage the night he died, and I broke all he goddam windows with my fist, just for the hell of it."

That part of the story was pretty intense, it's really hard for kids to lose family members at a young age. Especially a very close family member, like Holden's brother Allie. This part of the story is important because it links to the reason why he is in the hospital, the tragic events have to start somewhere and they just start building and at one point Holden must have not been able to deal with it any longer. He seems so over it though, like he doesn't care that he can't make a tight fist with his right hand anymore, since he broke it. The breaking of the garage windows gives us a clue to the fact that Holden has a slight anger problem.

26 September 2007

Journal Entry #10

Page 36

"While he was doing it, I went over to my window and opened it and packed a snowball with my bare hands. The snow was very good for packing. I didn't throw it at anything, though. I started to throw it. At a car that was parked across the street. But I changed my mind. The car looked so nice and white. Then I started to throw it at a hydrant, but that looked too nice and white, too. Finally I didn't throw it at anything."

Holden wanted to throw the snow ball at the car but decided not to because it was nice and white, white is always connected to purity, so maybe the fact that he is about to vandalize a pure car makes him stop. Along with the white hyrdrant, which I've never seen a white fire hyrdrant but maybe they were different colors back then or maybe they're different colors back east. Although, wouldn't it be hard to see a white hydrant in the snow? You would think that the city planners who picked the color for the hydrant would consider that.

26 September 2007

Journal Entry #11

Page 43

"This next part I don't remember so hot. All I know is I got up from the bed, like I was going down to the can or something, and then I tried to sock him, with all my might, right smack in the toothbrush, so it would split his goddam throat open."

Holden is quite a violent and angry person, it always involves other people too. Although, the reader would have to consider the fact that Holden was apparently in love or liked Jane very much to get this mad at Stradlater. What amazes me is the fact that he's so sinister about fighting with Stradlater, it's understandable to want to hit him but to imagine shoving a toothbrush down his throat is a disturbing thought. This is another example to support the theory that Holden has a very strong temper.

26 September 2007

Journal Entry #12

Page 45-46

"You never saw such gore in your life. I had blood all over my mouth and chin and even on my pajamas and bathrobe. It partly scared me and it partly fascinated me. All the blood and all sort of made me look tough. I'd only been in two fights in my life, and I lost both of them. I'm not too tough. I'm a pacifist, if you want to know the truth."

Holden is such a hypocrite it is unbelievable, I'm sure the auther must have intentionally done this. If Holden was a pacifist he would have never tried to beat up Stradlater or gotten into the two fights that he had mentioned. With the denial of being a violent person, which he does not exactly admit to, but he does say that he is a pacifist, this also adds to the question of whether Holden is really crazy or not. Denial is always one of the first steps into a breakdown, not admitting to whatever you are suffering from just makes the problem worse.

30 September 2007

Journal Entry #13

Page 55

"Mothers are all slightly insane."

I absolutely love this quote because it is so true. It makes you wonder though because how would the author know this without experiencing an insane mother himself. Maybe the auther is translating some of his life experiences into Holden's, which makes the story interesting because everyone has a somewhat messed up childhood. The readers can relate to this quote because just as it says all mothers are slightly insane.

30 September 2007

Journal Entry #14

Page 87

"I'm always saying "Glad to've met you" to someone I'm not at all glad to have met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say stuff like that, though."

Holden is so politically correct, he makes me laugh. He says he doesn't like to say that expression because he doesn't not feel that way, but in order to stay alive, or just to be polite, you have to. Society tells us that people should be courteous to others because it is polite, but in reality we just do it because we have to and if we don't we are looked at as hoodlums or rude people.

2 October 2007

Journal Entry #15

Page 92

"If you want to know the truth, I'm a virgin."

Holden implied earlier in the book that he had already has sex, especially when he was telling us that Ackley was a virgin, and he did this so distainfully that the reader just had to imagine that Holden wasn't. What I'm wondering is if Holden is willing to lose his virginity to a prostitute, then why couldn't he lose it to someone he actually liked? And why is it so uncomfortable for him to be around her, even if they are just talking? I think the author had Holden do and say all these things because underneath Holden is confused about life.

2 October 2007

Journal Entry #16

Page 103

"All of a sudden I started to cry. I'd give anything if I hadn't, but I did."

I think Holden might be having a small meltdown here, he is in such a rough spot between getting beat up and his stubborness he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to give Maurice the five because he feels that he doesn't owe it to him and because he is hard headed, which isn't a smart trait to have when you are about to be beat up by a man that is twice your size. Maybe the author is trying to illustrate how Holden is sensitive and has break downs a lot.

2 October 2007

Journal Entry #17

Page 115

"He had a pretty little voice, too. He was just singing for the hell of it, you could tell. The cars zoomed by, brakes screeched all over the place, his parents paid no attention to him, and he kept on walking next to the curb and singing "If a body catch a body coming through the rye." It made me feel better. It made me feel not so depressed any more."

This part of the song is apparently where the author got the title of the book from. This song apparently soothes Holden from his depression, maybe the song reminds him of good times with his family. The little boy might remind Holden of himself or maybe Allie when they were younger. The boy symbolizes peace in a world of choas, the cars, parents, and noises all symbolize the hardships that we as people have to go through in life.

2 October 2007

Journal Entry #18

Page 116

"Your really have to be in the mood for that stuff."

Holden always says this, throughout the book about many different situations he finds himself in. I've come to a few conclusions: either he is bipolar and has many mood swings or a manic depressive. Both have mood swings, but are different too. Holden gets more depressed than angry most of the time and he always has to be in the right mood to do something, even if it's a little thing like calling someone. By having Holden always say this line as an excuse for not doing something and all the numerous actions, words, and people that make him depressed, the author is hinting to the fact that Holden does have problems and that they occur frequently.

3 October 2007

Journal Entry #19

Page 124

"So I don't know about bores. Maybe you shouldn't feel too sorry if you see some swell girl getting married to them. They don't hurt abybody, most of them, and maybe they're secretly all terrific whistlers or something. Who the hell knows? Not me."

Holden is very judgemental towards people and stereotypes people all the time. He always pinpoints people's odd habits and analyizes them. Like out of all the characteristics that Holden's old roomate had, all he could talk about was how he was a bore and he was the best whistler he ever heard. Another thing is why is Holden thinking about bores and how you should feel sorry for them, who cares? How does their boring life affect him, other than the fact that people always make him "depressed." He's depressing me all the time so I don't know what he is ranting about.

3 October 2007

Journal Entry #20

Page 121-122

"Nobody'd be different. The only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you'd be so much older or anything. It wouldn't be that, exactly. You'd just be different, that's all. You'd have an overcoat on this time. Or the kid that was your partner in line the last time had got scarlet fever and you'd have a new partner. Or you'd have a substitute talking the class, instead of Miss Aigletinger. Or you'd heard your mother and father having a terrific fight in the bathroom. Or you'd just passed by one of those puddles in the street with gasoline rainbows in them. I mean you'd be different in some way-I can't explain what I mean. And even if I could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it."

Holden keeps ranting on about how people change everyday, everyday you are someone different, not entirely, but something changes about you all the time. And that the museum never changes, the mannequins stay the same, never move. This contrast between the two different worlds shows Holden's attention to detail because most people would think that the museum is boring, since it never changes, but Holden has a respect for it, ever since he was a child.

4 October 2007

Journal Entry #21

Page 125

"Then, just to show you how crazy I am, when we were coming out of this big clinch, I told her I loved her and all. It was a lie, of course, but the thing is, I meant it when I said it. I'm crazy. I swear to God I am."

Holden admits that he is crazy and a madman a lot, but I don't think he actually knows he needs help. He always does such outrageous things, like telling Sally Hayes that he loves her when he really does not mean it, he is very spontaneous. If Holden is telling her that he loves her but admits that it's a lie, then that makes him a phony, and a hypocrite. Also, I don't understand how you can lie about something but mean it at the same time. If you like about something then you aren't admitting that you actually agree or like it and meaning something is the complete opposite.

4 October 2007

Journal Entry #22

Page 132

"Look," I said. "Here's my idea. How would you like to get the hell out of here? Here's my idea. I know this guy down in Greenwich Village that we can borrow his car for a couple of weeks. He used to go the same school I did and he still owes me ten bucks. What we could do is, tomorrow morning we could drive up to Massachusetts and Vermont, and all around there, see."

Holden is definately crazy and has a wild imagination, he also has a very short attention span, since he is always jumping from one thought to another. This quote is striking because in the 50's a wealthy boy and girl could not just leave whenever they pleased, especially the girl since she would shame her family for running away with a boy she wasn't married to. So for Holden to suggest this is outlandish because he is trying to convince a girl that he doesn't even like very much and who he has no plans on marrying.

5 October 2007

Journal Entry #23

Page 137

"I had quite a lot of time to kill till ten o'clock, so what I did, I went to the movies at Radio City. It was probably the worst thing I could've done, but it was near, and I couldn't think of anything else."

Holden always emphasizes how the movies are boring and phony, but if you truly do not like something then you should in no way promote or support it. Holden did though, like the hypocrite that he is he decided to go to the movies even though he always criticizes his brother for writing for the movies. But I suppose if you're bored and have nothing else to do then go to the movies then you should go to the movies.

5 October 2007

Journal Entry #24

Page 140

"I remember Allie once asked him wasn't it sort of good that he was in the war because he was a writer and it gave him a lot to write about and all. He made Allie do get his baseball mitt and then asked him who was the best was poet, Rupert Brooke or Emily Dickinson. Allie said Emily Dickinson. "

D.B. made Allie go get his baseball mitt and to choose who was a better writer to prove that you don't necessarily have to experience something first hand to write about it. He used Rupert Brooke and Emily Dickinson as examples because Brooke was actually in the war and going throught the hardships and all. But Dickinson wasn't, she was a woman and stayed in her house for most of her life but wrote better than Brooke. This quote shows that you can't just stereotype someone because they have experienced something, even if you don't know what it's like to feel or do that particular thing doesn't mean that you don't know anything about it.

6 October 2007

Journal Entry #25

Page 148

"Naturally it does, for God's sake. I told you the last time I saw you what you need."

"You mean to go to a psychoanalyst and all?" I said. That's what he'd told me I ought to do. His father was a psychoanalyst and all."

That is twice in Holden's life that we know of that a psychoanalyst has been suggested for him, but he continues to think that he doesn't need one. Although in this specific conversation it seems as though he is considering it, but that could be the alcohol running through his system. As we get closer to the end Holden seems to be realizing more that he needs help, only slightly though, from his point of view. As the readers we can tell that Holden is slowly breaking down throught this short period of time. Especially when he keeps bringing up people form the past and tryting to relive old memories. The author might be doing this to show how long Holden has been in this state and so the readers can compare how Holden acted in the past and present.

6 October 2007

Journal Entry #26

Page 150

"But when I got inside this phone booth, I wasn't much in the mood any more to give old Jane a buzz. I was too drunk, I guess. So what I did, I gave old Sally Hayes a buzz."

By Holden callinth Sally instead of Jane it shows how much Holden likes or did like Jane and how he uses Sally. Which is a phony thing to do because he is just using Sally as a rebound to get over his feelings for Jane. Also, Holden keeps deciding not to call Jane a lot, he called her once but that was it, the number of times he thought about calling her out numbers the times he actually has. His decision making on a lot of subjects is very impulsive and shows his confused state of mind. The auther portrays this frequently and jumps from subject to subject to illustrate this point.

9 October 2007

Journal Entry #27

Page 188

"Here's what he said: 'the mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.'"

Salinger, I believe, put this quote, out of the thousands of other quotes that are out in the world, in the book because one, it is quoted by a psychoanalyst and the readers as well as the characters know that Holden needs help, maybe except for Holden. Secondly, I think that Mr. Antolini is trying to tell Holden that he needs to find out what he wants to live for because he certainly is not living for any particular thing at the moment. He's telling Holden that he is immature but is mature deep down and that will only show if he starts living the way that society says that he has to. He is not living up to the standards of the time and it scares everyone around him.

10 October 2007

Journal Entry #28

Page 202

"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck you' signs in the world. It's impossible."

The author must have had Holden think this because it ties in with Holden's feelings at the time. It is obvious to the readers that everything is slowly go down hill for Holden, in just a couple of days. The "Fuck you" signs are just a small blimp on the radar screen for the bigger picture that the auther is trying to imply; that no matter how hard you try at life that something is always going to go wrong and there is nothing you can do about it.

10 October 2007

Journal Entry #29

Page 211

"There were only about five or six other kids on the ride, and the song the carrousel was playing was "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes." It was playing it very jazzy and funny. All the kids kept trying to grab for the gold ring, and so was old Phoebe, and I was sort of afraid she'd fall off the goddam horse, but I didn't say anything or do anything. The thing with kids is, if they want to grab for the gold ring, you have to let them do it, and not say anything. If they fall off, they fall off, but it's bad if you say anything to them."

I think that the title of the songs ties into what Holden is trying to tell the readers. He's telling us that if someone, especially a kid, wants to do something, let them. It's their decision and they will only learn what is right and wrong if they do it. If you tell them something then they will never learn how to cope with different situations and confilcts in their life. The title ties into Holden's thoughts because everyone gets some smoke in their eyes that blinds them from getting to where they are destined, in this case grabbing the gold ring, and if someone stops you, then you'll never know what it would have been like to experience it.

11 October 2007

Journal Entry #30

Page 214

"It's funny. Don't ever tell anyone anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

Even though Holden is in a hospital and is getting help, this line implies that he still has not changed, he is as contradictory and arbitrary as ever. The author is showing that no matter how hard you try to change someone and try to control them, they will always have some of the characteristics that they aquired from before. Holden acts like it is such a burden to miss everyone that has been apart of his life, but he apparently realizes that without those people he would never be where he was and for that he is thankful because sometimes you just have to let a person do what they want so they can learn.

Essay 2

Cheyanne Barba
Mrs. Bosch
Honors English 10
15 August 2007

Me
A person’s family history is usually very important to them, it tells them who they are and people should be proud of that. Not only does your family history shape you into being the person that you are, your memories from living with your family and celebrating different events shapes you too. These events can be everything from old stories that are passed down from generation to generation or from experiences that happen in your lifetime. Though, these experiences vary from one person to another since everyone is so diverse and has their own traditions. Not everyone has just one ethnicity so more than likely they will celebrate many traditions and holidays.
I have many different ethnicities and I am proud to be each one. I am Mexican, Spaniard, German, Swedish, French, and Native American. So I have a broad respect for all races and I don’t like to discriminate against any. Even though some people tend to judge me before they understand that no, I am not lying about being Mexican and Spanish, even though I am lighter skinned and do not speak the language. Those accusations tend to irritate me just because I don’t see why anyone would lie about being some other ethnicity. No race is better than the other; everyone is equal in my eyes. Since I am a combination of so many cultures, I get to experience many different stories from all sides of my family and also take part in many traditions. This knowledge of so many various ethnicities has shaped me to be unreligious, not racist, I know only one language, and I was a variety of different friends who are from different cultures.
Religion is a huge and very controversial subject in the world, especially America since it is so diverse and contains people from all over the world. There are so many different religions out there that it can be confusing to understand all of them. One of the most popular religions in America is probably Christianity (but what do I know, I’m only fourteen). Although, in my house my grandparents are both Catholic and I think both of my parents are too. My other grandparents I’m not positive what beliefs they have but they’re probably Catholic too. Me and my brother, that’s a different story. My mom and dad never pushed a religion on either of us, we went to church only a few times, and we were never baptized. It’s not that my parents are heathens or regular church goers; they’re more in the middle. So how could you expect children to become very religious in a household that tells you to be anything you want? You can’t really and neither my brother nor I have a strong faith in any religion. Some people think it’s sad, others just get angry with me (I don’t really know what my brother has to go through), and some don’t care at all. Personally, I don’t mind religions, you can believe whatever you want, it does not affect me, as long as you don’t try and push anything on me we will become great friends. Then again, life isn’t a piece of cake and there are those out there that judge too soon and consider me a dirty sinner who has no morals and will go to hell. Well, I’m not hurting anyone, I try not to voice my opinion on religion openly, since I’ve learned at a young age that it just back fires and I end up feeling like a disgusting person. I can’t help these beliefs, and some people don’t believe me, but it’s hard for a person who asks too many questions and grew up in a semi religious childhood to become the next Pope. Please excuse me if I have offended you in any way.
Racism has been around since the dawn of time and will most likely never go away; some people just have no respect towards others. There have been wars, mass murders, and discrimination all over the world. This is one reason why many people deny that their families are from different countries and also why people are ashamed of whom they are. Being racist I think depends on how your parents raise you, I’m not saying that’s the only reason, but it is a large part of it. Since I am so many cultures mixed into one it’s hard for me to understand why people are so racist against others who are different from them. I am a very open minded person so I try and be considerate of others and respect their beliefs and race, that’s just how I was raised and what I learned from books and television. I myself have been discriminated against and I know it hurts so I try to be open to everyone and I do not like to use discriminating words or actions. I can share the credit with my parents since they are both from different backgrounds and have never been racist towards other people. My very diverse background has given me a respect for many cultures and made me understand that everyone is different, and it’s a beautiful thing.
Language is a way of expressing yourself and to give people the sense that you are proud of your culture and that you respect it. There are many different languages in the world and we learn the language by others and by our families. A language is passed down from generation to generation and people can be bilingual or even know more than two languages. You would think since I’m a mix of different ethnicities that I would be able to speak a language other than English, but you thought wrong. My father speaks fluent Spanish but never taught my brother or me and my mother does not speak fluently in any language other than English. It makes me angry how my father never taught me how to speak Spanish; it would help out so much now, especially with school, my future careers, and the fact that some of my good friend’s parents only speak Spanish. It would probably help me to prove the fact that I actually am Mexican/Spanish if I spoke the language, since it’s a popular saying around people who I meet that I am lying about my ethnicity. In California it’s such a benefit to be bilingual. It’s also a helpful trait when you are trying to find a job, since there are so many people in California that are from different countries that have not yet learned English yet, so it you are bilingual the business rate will increase since you have a employee who can talk to a broad range of people. Unfortunately, I was not so lucky in the bilingual department and I don’t know any fluent languages other than English.
Some people believe that a person should only be friends with people that are their own race. This is truly a hard rule to follow since everyone is so diverse and no one really believes that anymore, since the younger generations embrace being different. Again, since I myself am diverse I have many friends who are of different races than me. I have many friends who are Mexican, Caucasian, Indian, Filipino, the list goes on I assure you and I really enjoy having all these different people in my life. Back in my grandparents day I don’t think having friends of different races was a popular thing, even in my parents day people were still getting used to the fact that you can have friends who are different from you. My uncle has friends who he’s been friends with since high school and they are all different races. One is Japanese, another Caucasian, and the other is Italian. Along with him both of my parents grew up having African American friends who they are still close to. They themselves are married and are from different cultures. They have raised my brother and me to respect everyone and to have as many friends as we can and who are from different cultures. We did too; we each have many friends who are from different races. I believe that a person can be friends with anyone from a different race mostly because my memories with so many diverse people has taught me that I can be friends with people outside my culture. My family also plays an important role in this because they are the ones that raised me and taught me to be respectful to everyone.
A person’s family history is every aspect of themselves, along with their family’s traditions and memories. These traits are what make everyone in the world different and people should emphasize this more. There are so many different ethnicities and beliefs that people have it can be overwhelming, especially in America since almost anyone can live here. There are also people like me whose family comes from many different backgrounds and beliefs. I mostly consider myself Mexican and Caucasian since I am mostly both of these, but I also have other ethnicities. Altogether I am German, Swedish, Native American, Spaniard, Mexican, and French. Since I am such a cornucopia of ethnicities I have learned to respect other people who are of different races them myself. I may not be able to speak any of the languages other than English but I am still proud of being so different. Many of the cultures that my parents are have different religions but I do not, this does not make me a complete heathen, it just means that I don’t believe in the same faiths as others. I am still very respectful to everyone whether they are of a different religion or race than me; I believe that everyone is equal no matter what. I consider the credit for all my knowledge to go to my parents and grandparents since they are the ones that raised me to be like this. I am very proud of who I am and of my many cultures, beliefs, language, my respect towards others, and of my many diverse friends that have accumulated over the years. All of these traits have shaped me into the person I have become and I believe continue to shape me.

Essay

Cheyanne Barba
Mrs. Bosch
English 10 honors
5 August 2007

Things Fall Apart

Everyone has some kind of pride in them about the kind of individual that they have shaped into or the reasons why they have developed the characteristics that make them, them. This feeling of pride is usually connected to the way that a person is raised and the history of their heritage. As a rule many people take a certain pride in their family’s traditions and passing them onto the different generations even though each generation is very different than the last. There are many ways in expresses this pride too, like learning one’s ancestral language, whether it is just one or many different languages. Although this pride is very strong among certain people, sometimes it can be lost within the growth of some families new generations. This is somewhat true in the case of Okonkwo, a character in the book Things Fall Apart written by Chinua Achebe. Okonkwo was a proud man, even though he strove to be nothing like his father, who was considered a failure in their hometown of Umuofia. Okonkwo tried as best he could do be a honorable man who was considered strong and appreciative of his ancestors and this is what he tried to pass down to his children and other’s who were not like him. The book describes Okonkwo’s life, from his childhood up until his death. Throughout the book he struggles with the impression he has of what a man, such as himself, should act like, all the while trying to sustain an imagery of a strong Igbo man that was no worries and no emotional war fighting inside of him. He never strays away from his heritage’s traditions and beliefs, even when the white man comes to their village and takes over, Okonkwo stands strong and proud of his family, heritage, language, memories, and life that he has.
Family is a major role in a child’s life; people’s families teach them how to be an individual and how to act in society. The people with the biggest roles in teaching a child are the parents. They try to be positive role models for their children and teach them how to respect others and be responsible. If the child is a girl her mother is the prime role model, for a boy it is his father. Okonkwo’s father was a poor role model, “…he was lazy and improvident and was quite incapable of thinking about tomorrow” (4). Although Unoka, Okonkwo’s father, was a poor model on what kind of man to become when Okonkwo grew up, he became a model in what not to be like. Okonkwo grew up to believe that laziness and being cowardly were traits that he should not have and that his children should not inherit. Okonkwo’s children, from what Achebe describes, are proud of their father and their beliefs, except for the oldest son, Nwoye, who in the last parts of the book decides to leave his family and join the Christian missionaries. Okonkwo is of course very ashamed of his son and is hurt by the fact that Nwoye gave in so easily to the new religion. Achebe stresses the fact that family is very important to the Igbo people and that a person should always be proud of their family.
Heritage is very important to people, it tells them who they are and it gives them the traditions of their forefathers. Achebe illustrates in his book that everyone should be proud of their heritage by having Okonkwo follow his ancestors’ beliefs, traditions, and lifestyle very closely. In many families there are stories that are passed down from each generation and in Umuofia there are many stories of animals and people whose stories teach people about morals. Okonkwo, however, does not enjoy these stories as much as the women and some other men do. He does not prohibit his wives from telling their children these stories though, but he does mind that his wives tell the young boys who are supposed to grow up like men and not listen to “…foolish…women’s stories” (54). He tells stories too but only of bloodshed and violence not sincere like “…stories of the tortoise and his wily ways, and of the bird eneke-nti-oba who challenged the whole world to a wrestling contest and was finally thrown by the cat” (53). Achebe also shows the bond between family and heritage when Okonkwo gets exiled from his fatherland for accidentally killing a young man and he moves to his motherland for seven years. His oldest living relative on his mother’s side is his uncle, Uchendu, who actually lectures Okonkwo about being sorrowful because he had to live in his motherland. Achebe tries to illustrate the fact that a person’s heritage is all of them and that they should be proud of who they are and the traditions that they celebrate.
Everyone has memories from when they were children, wonderful memories or the kind that people wish they did not remember. Okonkwo has the kind of memories of his childhood that he is not so proud of having. His father has a very lazy man who did not represent a strong Igbo man who took good care of his family. “If any money came his way, and it seldom did, he immediately bought gourds of palm-whine, called round his neighbors and made merry” (4). He owed many neighbors large sums of money and never seemed to pay them back. By having Okonkwo’s father so irresponsible it shows that anyone can have memories but it’s a strong and proud person who can learn from others and their own mistakes and better themselves.
When people speak a foreign language other than their native tongue it shows others how proud they are of their cultural background. It also gives people an idea of where you come from and a little bit of your history. In Things Fall Apart Achebe does not translate all of the words that the characters speak. Like when Achebe is telling his readers about the “…egwugwu…” he could easily translate it to an ancestral spirit but he chooses to leave it in the African language. Towards the end of the novel the Commissioner comments on how he “…did not understand what Obierika meant when he said, “Perhaps your men will help is.” One of the most infuriating habits of these people was their love of superfluous words, he thought” (206). This ignorance of the Commissioner shows the readers how judgmental people can be if they do not understand a person’s customs, it also shows that he is slightly frightened by the clansmen because they are not as barbaric as he thought. Achebe gives his readers the sense that he is proud of his African cultural and shows it by keeping the language of his family throughout the book.
Life is such a beautiful thing, whatever way you look at it. Some people have the benefit of accomplishing many goals in their lifetime and others accomplish smaller ambitions. Some people take life for granite and others take the time to stop and smell the roses. Okonkwo had accomplished a lot in his lifetime, he rose from being a poor child with barely anything to eat, to a strong man who was respected all around the nine villages and who had three wives and many children. “At an early age he had achieved fame as the greatest wrestler in all the land” (27). He had very large yam fields and smaller vegetable fields for his wives; he “…deserved his success…” (27). Despite all these accomplishments Okonkwo could not handle all the changes that were happening around him, like the white man coming and taking over, and he hung himself. Some men of the clan had found him at his compound suspended from a tree and asked the Commissioner’s messengers to take Okonkwo’s body down. Obierika, Okonkwo’s close friend, did most of the talking and blamed the Commissioner and his men for Okonkwo’s death. “That man was one of the greatest men in Umuofia. You drove him to kill himself; and now he will be buried like a dog…” (208). Okonkwo’s body could not be taken down by his fellow clansmen because committing suicide is an offense against the Earth and the only way to get him down was for strangers to do it. Then the clansmen would have the other men bury Okonkwo and the villagers would perform “…sacrifices to cleanse the desecrated land” (208). The novel ends with the Commissioner thinking about his new book and how he is going to include Okonkwo’s death in it, but he decides that Okonkwo’s incident is only significant enough to write one paragraph. The ironic thing is that Achebe had written a whole novel on Okonkwo’s life and this clash of thoughts shows that the Commissioner portrays Okonkwo as an unimportant man who did not have any respect for his clan. In reality Okonkwo valued his life and tried so hard to be what he thought a man should be, but in the end his strive to be perfect was conquered by his fears of being perceived just like his father. Achebe shows us how proud he is of life by writing this story about Okonkwo and how he went through so many ups and downs throughout his life.
Through his main character Okonkwo, with the support of many other characters, Chinua Achebe illustrated his pride in family, heritage, memories, language, and lives. Achebe had Okonkwo take pride in his family by always giving them fresh food and by protecting them from dangers, he did not show his kindness very well but his family knew it was in him. He demonstrated his pride for heritage by having Okonkwo standing by his ancestors’ beliefs and traditions instead of giving in to the white man’s new religion. He also took pride in his memories by knowing that he was not a failure like his father and that he was his own man who was very well respected. Achebe also shows his pride in his native language which is reoccurring throughout the novel. His pride in life is manifested by Okonkwo’s entire life and how he strove to be a courageous enduring man who was looked upon as a great warrior, strong, and a man who achieved many titles, although he did commit suicide these descriptions were what he was considered even though Okonkwo could not entirely see it.


Works Cited
Achebe, Chinua. Things Fall Apart. New York: Heinemann Educational Books, 1959.

Part 3 Questions

1. I think that Achebe brought in the European colonists during the last part of the novel because it ties in why things actually fell apart. For instance, Nwoye left his family to join the Christians, but he would have never done that as a child so it would be logical of Achebe to wait until Nwoye was old enough to disobey his father.
2. Umuofia has changed because during those seven years that Okonkwo had been gone the church had expanded and many left their forefathers beliefs and joined the Christians. Many of these converts were not only lower class people, but men of titles, such as Ogbuefi Ugonna who had two titles and had cut the anklet that showed that he was a man of rank. The white man had also brought a government where the District Commissioner judged cases. The District Commissioner sent court messengers to retrieve men that were to be put on trial for him. These men were from Umuru, where the white men had first came, therefore the court messengers were all believing in the white mans ways. So these men were greatly hated in Umuofia because they were so haughty. They also received the name kotma because of their ash colored shorts and were called Ashy-Buttocks.

3. The kotma are assigned to do many acts in the new society, but all are for the white man. One duty that they have is to guard the prison, which consisted of men who had somehow disobeyed the white man’s law. The white man’s system of justice is much more abusive and controlling than that of the Umuofia society’s ways. The white men have jails in which the prisoners are treated horribly for acts that are traditional in their own society, such as throwing away twins. The white man convicts the people concerning their own laws, not those of the people.
4. Obierika states that it is too late for their people to fight the white men and drive them out because so many of their people had converted to the white man’s beliefs that they would have no chance to win. Obierika says that the white man is very clever because he came in peace and all the people were amused by his strange and foolish ways that they had let him stay. Now the white man has converted many of their people and the people of Umuofia are no longer one. Obierika might be the transitional figure of the old and new Igbo societies because he is upset about the white man coming in and taking over their people and land but knows well enough that they can’t do anything about it. Unlike Okonkwo who thinks like the old Igbo society would.
5. Mr. Brown is a highly respected man of the Igbo society because he does not pressure the people into believing his religion and respects their beliefs, somewhat. Mr. Smith on the other hand was different; he saw things as all or nothing and did not respect the clan at all. From reading Akunna and Mr. Brown’s we learn that both religions are somewhat the same. They both have one supreme God, but the beliefs of the clan have many lower gods. An event that had set off a confrontation between the church and clan was that Enoch had boasted that none of the egwugwu would not dare touch a Christian, and with that said one of the egwugwu hit Enoch with a cane and Enoch retorted back by ripping away the mask that the egwugwu was wearing. This led to a mass confusion in Umuofia and the masked egwugwu from all over the neighboring villages came together and burned down Enoch’s home, then the church. These conflicts occur I think because the white man cannot understand the native people’s language and customs and just assume that their way is the best. There will never be a truce between the two cultures until they both understand to except each others customs and to try and not change their beliefs.
6. Many people feel differently than Okonkwo about the new laws because the white men had built a trading store and an abundance of money came into Umuofia. I think that since the white man is teaching the people how to read and write that they are gaining the trust of the Igbo people. Therefore, the more trust that the white man gains the stronger he becomes.
7. The District Commissioner tricked the six leaders into jail by asking them to explain how Enoch had murdered an egwugwu and had twelve men come in and handcuff them. Okonkwo is very angry that the men are imprisoned and are treated so badly, he holds the grudge that they should have killed the District Commissioner when they had the chance. I think that Okonkwo kills the messenger because he is so fed up with everything around him. The white men coming and converting the village, and most importantly his eldest son, the fact that they went to jail, and what had triggered the murder was that the messenger had wanted the meeting to stop. The meetings that they have are traditional and to have someone who is ordering you to do what you don’t want to do is just over the top for Okonkwo. I think that Okonkwo committed suicide because he would rather be dead than to spend the rest of his life in a white man’s jail and I think he couldn’t take the changing ways of Umuofia anymore. Okonkwo is isolated because he committed suicide and that is an offense against the Earth. I consider Okonkwo a tragic hero because he tried so hard throughout his like to achieve his dreams and tried to support his family the best that he could, but unfortunately he did not achieve some of his dreams.
8. I think that the District Commissioner would write Okonkwo’s story totally wrong, Okonkwo would be made out to be a bad man instead of a respectable one. The District Commissioner does not care that Okonkwo had worked hard to where he was and that it was the white man’s fault that such a great man had taken his own life. I believe that Achebe has made Okonkwo’s story into a whole novel because Achebe has an understanding of the Igbo culture and the District Commissioner sees the Igbo people as ignorant and won’t give them the respect that they deserve.
9. Things fell apart because the white man had discovered Africa and the people who lived there and conquered them. I think that as humans we are generally curious of new things and this is why the white man had the upper hand, they drew in many of the African people and turned them against their own kind. The messages that were shown in the book were that you need to stay strong and defend what you believe in and to
10. The effects of the combination of African and Western literary is that the people who read the book get to learn more about their own culture and another’s. I think it shows the fact that even though the characters in the book and everyone that you know are from so many different cultures that we do share some of the same beliefs, traditions, and routines that you do on a daily basis. It makes you feel closer to a culture in which you might have known nothing about and gained a newfound respect for.

Questions Part 2

1. Okonkwo had fled his fatherland to his motherland because when the village was attending Ezeudu’s funeral, the men had cannons and guns. The men were shooting these guns and Okonkwo’s exploded and a piece of iron had punctured Ezeudu’s sixteen-year-old son in the heart, he died that night. Since Okonkwo had not intentionally meant to kill Ezeudu’s son, it was considered a female murder and was sentenced to leave his fatherland for seven years. Okonkwo is in despair because his banishment is for so long and he has to create his life from scratch. Uchendu responds to Okonkwos despair by calling together his sons, daughters, and Okonkwo to a meeting. During this meeting Uchendu asks Okonkwo two questions, one about the most common name being Nneka, meaning “Mother is supreme,” and why they name their children that even though the children are the fathers, not mothers. The second question was concerning the fact that when women die they are brought to be buried with her kinsmen. Okonkwo can not answer either of these questions and Uchendu tells him the answers anyway. Uchendu tells Okonkwo that a man finds comfort in his mother and that she is there to protect him, so therefore she is supreme; he also tells Okonkwo that he should be comforting his wives and children instead of wallowing in sorrow.

2. Abame was wiped out by white men who had sent a man out to survey the land and he had found the people of Abame. They did not know who he was and why he was there but they killed him and tied his horse to there sacred silk-cotton tree. Then a while later a large group of white men came and shot at the town while the townspeople were at the market place and killed almost the whole town except the old, sick, and a few people. Uchendu believes that the people of Abame were fools because they killed the white man because he said nothing and he thinks that you should never kill anything that says nothing, but if it makes a ruckus then it is ok, there is nothing to fear about something that shouts. Okonkwo believes that the people of Abame were fools because they were warned by their oracle that the white men would come and cause decimation to their land. He thinks they should have armed themselves with guns and machetes so they could fight the white men. I think that Uchendu’s response to Obierika telling the men about the Abame massacre is wiser than Okonkwo’s response. By saying that no story is not true Uchendu means that stories are true because the world has no end and you can never know if a story is not true or not.

3. Obierika visits Okonkwo the first time because he had sold Okonkwo’s yams right after he left so Obierika brought the cowries to him. The second time that Obierika came was because he has seen Nwoye in Umuofia with the missionaries so Obierika went to visit Okonkwo to see what the problem was. What had attracted Nwoye to Christianity was the poetry; he felt a connection to it deep in his soul. At first the people of Mbanta did not think that the religion would prosper and that the Christians would leave after a while but they did not and the church won over many converts. The outcasts of the village are now attracted to the new religion. Many of the converts were not pleased about the outcasts converting to Christianity and one convert even left the church and went back to the clan because Mr. Kiaga was willing to accept the outcasts. Nwoye converts to Christianity because he is drawn to the poetry and stories that the missionaries tell. Okonkwo does not react too well to Nwoye converting and he attacks Nwoye and almost chokes him. Okonkwo is very angry at Nwoye, he thinks that Nwoye has be trade him and his people. Okonkwo worries that since Nwoye has converted and left his clan that the generations after him will follow in Nwoye’s foot steps.

4. Some of the converts were telling the clan that their Gods were dead and the people retorted back with insults and the men ended up getting beat. The people of Mbanta don’t mind that the Christians are there because the people believe that the missionaries are worthless and if they want to challenge the Gods then it their own fault. Even if the Christians go too full of themselves the people of Mbanta can always drive them out. The people of Mbanta believe that there are many Gods and Goddesses and the Christians believe that there is one supreme God and that he has a son Jesus.

5. The changes that the elders see are that the younger generation are not following their heritage and are leaving their families for some outside religion. The elders fear for the younger generation and the clan because the younger generation does not understand the relationship between their kinsmen. If the younger generation continues to do this, then the white man will have a clear pathway into controlling Africa and the Mbanta people will be a lost civilization.